A writing teacher brought in this list one day. It’s from the article “Lost in Translation: The Workshop” written by Jane Roper and appeared in the May/June 2004 issue of Poets and Writers. It’s a list of language used during a writing workshop. And what that language actually means. I found this hilarious. Enjoy!

“I loved the language.”
means
“English was a good choice.”

“This is very ambitious writing.”
means
“You really aren’t good enough to pull this off.”

“The prose is very clear and concise.”
means
“You wouldn’t know a metaphor if it bit you on the ass.”

“I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.”
means
“It made me feel much better about my own writing.”

“This is very unusual and original work.”
means
“You frighten me a little.”

“This story shares similar themes with your other work.”
means
“Please stop writing about your relationship with your father.”

“It’s very confident writing.”
means
“You’re completely deluded, aren’t you?”

“This needs to be pushed further.”
means
“Like off your desk and into the trash.”

“I don’t like the title”
means
“I didn’t actually read your story.”

“I love the title.”
means
“I didn’t actually read your story.”

“This is very polished.”
means
“Plagiarizing again?”

“There’s not enough at stake here.”
means
“But I’d sure like to burn your story on one.”

“This is the best thing I’ve ever read.”
means
“Will you sleep with me?”

“This is brilliant.”
means
“Please?”