Welcome to second platoon

Hey man, welcome to second platoon. Where are you from? Oh yeah, I think I’ve heard of that place. You grow potatoes or some shit, right? You’re straight out of basic? Man, first thing you need to do is get some new boots. You should get some jungle boots because it gets warm here. What size are you? Maybe you can buy my old pair. This room must be paradise for you. Your own room, it’s like an apartment or some shit. Well, you have to share it with me I guess, but I’m cool and it beats living in a bay with fifty other guys. And hey, I’m sorry about the room, we can rearrange everything tomorrow if you want. I can set your bed up tomorrow too. You don’t mind sleeping on the floor right? I mean, you’re coming from basic and it’s a pain in the ass to move that bed around and I’m getting ready to go out. You don’t have a sleeping bag yet? Here, you can borrow mine. Just don’t mess it up. You don’t piss in your sleep, do you? Okay, just checking. But it’s still good. No drill sergeant will be waking you up tonight. And you’ve got your own bathroom, no more sharing a shitter with the whole platoon. Actually, the shitter. It hasn’t been working right for a couple of weeks. So if you need to take a shit you have to go next door and knock on Woods’ door. He’ll look at you like you’re crazy but tell him to fuck off and that I sent you and he’ll let you in. But other than that, everything’s cool right? Hey, how old are you? Oh, that’s too bad. I’m on my way out to Beers and Bitches at the enlisted club otherwise I’d stay here and help you get settled in. What are you doing tonight anyway? You could go down to the bowling alley next to Burger King. That’s where all the kids go. They’ll sell you Bud Light all night as long as the MPs aren’t walking through. And trust me, these nights are too long to stay sober. Oh, and be careful in the shower. I haven’t cleaned it in a while. But you’ve got your shower shoes right? That’s a good soldier. Well, see you at formation in the morning. But if I don’t make it just tell Sergeant Wainwright I went to sick call. Peace out and don’t touch anything and we’ll be great friends.

Comments are closed.