Oh good, you’ve got the yellow ribbon stuck to your car. It’s getting a bit faded though, isn’t it? Might want to run down to the Wal-Mart and pick up a new one or dozen. You want to support the troops all you can, don’t you? And while you’re there, make sure to pick up the new DVD releases. The latest Hollywood fare, every Tuesday. And make sure to grab a new TV, stereo, computer, and Wii. Don’t forget Guitar Hero III. How will the troops know you support them if you don’t buy Guitar Hero III for your son? Imagine his face when he opens it this Christmas. And how about some of those shirts over there? You see them, the ones with eagles and American flags. Pick up a couple of those as well, they make perfect gifts. And on your way out, don’t forget to sign the card for the troops fighting the war on terror. You can’t miss it, it’s next to the door and as big as it, too. We thought they could put it in one of their dining facilities or something, maybe next to the Christmas tree or Nativity. And when they see it, with your warm message and signature, they’ll know we’re thinking of them and supporting them. I almost cry thinking of them over there defending our freedom. I’m going to go sign it again. With a red marker this time. Shit, I almost forgot. Let me get a couple of those ribbons, and that flag decal too.

Support the troops.