Talking head Bill O’Reilly over on FoxNews has been making up a war on Christmas once again this year. It kicked off last year when fellow talking head John Gibson wrote a book about this so called war. But Gibson isn’t as popular or as loud as O’Reilly. O’Reilly is “the culture warrior,” making the country safe for all the xenophobic bigots–his base.

O’Reilly likes to bring up our roots as a country and people. He points out time and time again that we are a Christian nation. That the people who came here to America before it was the United States were Christian and that religion and Christianity is part of our culture. And he’s right, to a point. As the writers of America: The Book so eloquently put it, “The Pilgrims came to America to be free to practice the most oppressive form of Christianity known to man.”

What is this form of Christianity? Puritanism. Puritanism is a harsh religion that seeks to bring religion back to its pure form, back to the foundations of the Bible. During the English Interregnum Oliver Cromwell, leader of the Puritans, sought to ban all festival days. His, and their, justification for this was the Bible and hatred of the Roman Catholic church. Shortly before the Puritan Revolution, in 1644, the majority Puritan Parliament passed an act banning Christmas. Christmas was seen as a “wasteful festival that threatened core Christian beliefs.”

“But that was England,” I can imagine O’Reilly saying. “We fought a war of independence against them. We aren’t British.” But the Puritans weren’t especially well liked in England after the Restoration of the Monarchy in 1660 when Charles I’s son, Charles II, took the throne. The people were sick of the Puritans as well and long before 1660, Puritans were leaving England to set up shop in the New World, in what would become Boston and New England.

The Puritans’ beliefs came with them to the New World. Christmas was banned in New England and this ban was rigidly enforced. Indeed, Christmas wasn’t celebrated in real fashion in Boston until the mid 1800s. These don’t sound like the foundations for Christmas as we know it today. The first Americans would have been appalled by our Christmas excesses while pretending to celebrate the birth of a Saviour.

Bill O’Reilly is, I’m assuming, Catholic. The hated enemy of the Puritan. Our foundation, if you want to call it such, as a nation is not Catholic and I would argue it isn’t even Christian. I wouldn’t call a Puritan a Christian. I’d call them insane and power hungry and controlling. But none of this matters to O’Reilly. He wants to stir up outrage to increase his ratings.

In this time of religious wars I would think someone who professed to love Jesus and his so called birthday would seek understanding and common ground. The United States is no more a Christian nation than an Islamic nation. We are a nation governed by a constitution that guarantees the right of every citizen to say whatever they want during this time of Christmas. So Happy Festivus everyone.

And with the end of the Airing of Grievances, let’s move on to the Feats of Strength while worshiping our Creator and Saviour the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Maybe we can do better in the New Year?